never made for sunny days

i was never made for sunny days.

you’d think that spring would be the time for me to bloom,

just like everyone else.

but the weather is just shifting,

and the sun is rising higher and higher.

brighter and brighter.

i was never made for sunny days.

my eyes start to flutter.

1, 2, 3… inhale.

it’s like ants are crawling into the back of my head,

and as i walk to class all i see are black dots.

5, 6, 7, exhale.

i walk faster so i’m not late, even though i know i will be.

they think i’m okay.

they see me as one of them…

until i’m shaking.

nothing is invisible anymore.

they know something isn’t right.

but because of

silence and ignorance,

they just stare.

1, 2, 3, 4, inhale.

i was never made for sunny days.

5, 6, 7, 8, exhale.

and even though

i feel like i’m going blind

and feel my lips go numb

i can feel your judgement

and questioning

thrown at my body like bricks.

i wake up. it felt longer than 3 minutes.

i can see my classmates and my professor.

i’m behind in text.

i need to work 5 times harder.

i was never made for sunny days.

yet i’m still going to bloom.

One thought on “never made for sunny days”

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